Let’s ignore that this douchebag has a bright yellow late-80’s van. Let’s ignore the giant swirl of blue and white spray paint on the side. Let’s forget this is a white trash dirty old man that tries to hit on 17 and 18 year old baristas.
What we need to focus on is what is written in felt pen on the bumper.
“I brake 4 donkey shows”
Uh… hm… ya, that’s Super Classy.
Not much to say on this one except a BIG WTF!
This, otherwise normal Hyundai Tucson, was “blessed” with a custom zebra paint job on the hood.
Amazing that someone thought this was going to be a good idea.
I do apologize for quality of the photo, but it was dark and all I had was this non-flash iPhone camera. Hopefully you still get the satisfaction of utter jackassery.
One shouldn’t have to ask themselves “what is a truck for?” One should know that it is intended to haul shit, run over shit, and get out of shit that cars can’t.
What trucks are not: racing vehicles. Trucks should not be lowered, put on 20″ inch chromes, and DEFINITELY NOT HAVE A SPOILER INSTALLED!
If you have done any of the above 3 things, you are a freakin’ moron.
So, tell me, you posin’ lame-ass-turd-burglar, why the &%$# would you do this:
Freakin’ douchebag.
The official title for my job is Business Analyst. In addition to the typical Business Analyst work, I also do graphic design, fulfillment vendor management, and customer support. Today, I’m going to talk about my customer support issue.
We offer prizes on our website, so that when a user plays games they earn “credits”. Those credits can eventually be redeemed for prizes. Today, I had a user complain that they only received 3 Titleist Golf Balls rather than the 12 that the picture showed.
Swiftly taking action on the false advertising, I sent the following message to my fulfillment vendor to rectify the issue:
There’s something wrong with your balls. You don’t have enough balls. Please advertise your balls correctly and provide our users with the appropriate amount of balls. Balls!
That’s right, fix your balls.
Thanks for this, lbttrcup… funny!
Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat…
Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, ‘I need to get up and get a coke.’ ‘Don’t get up’said the Marine, ‘I’m in the aisle seat, I’ll get it for you’.
As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, ‘That looks good, I’d really like one too’. Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other
shoe and spat in it.
When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately that had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors… ‘Why does it have to be this way’?
‘How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?’
* THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES. THE BEST!*
Seeing that there is nothing I love more than FAIL, I am going to start a new series rightfully titled “FAIL”. My goal here is to find stories of complete jackasses and do a recap of why they FAIL. Here is the first:
Preface: Daniel Stewart of St. Petersburg needs to leave his house for God-knows-what. Daniel decides it’s best to leave his 6 and 7 year old children at home.
Stewart: “Hey honey, Daddy has to make a run and will be back in a couple hours. Daddy can’t afford a babysitter, so I’m going to leave you with this bat, ax, and hunting knife in case you need any protection.
7 year old:
Stewart: “Don’t worry, you’ll know what to do when the time comes. Be back in a bit!”
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Shortly after Stewart leaves, the kid is staring at the bat, ax, and hunting knife.
7 year old: “What the f*** am I supposed to with this sh*t?!”
6 year old: “I dunno, let’s ask Mr. Rogers”
7 year old: “I should punch you in the neck. Mr. Rogers is dead, foo’! Let’s go show the neighbor what we got.”
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A few moments later, the kids show up at the neighbors house with the bat, ax, and hunting knife. They ring the doorbell and the neighbor answers.
Neighbor: “Hey kids, whatcha got there?…. Uh, seriously, what do you have? A bat… an ax… and a… hunting knife?”
7 year old: “Yeah, wassup biznatch? Gimme your wallet!”
6 year old: “Ah, he’s just messin’. We just got these for protection while Daddy’s out gettin’ some Ol’ E.”
Neighbor: “Uhhh… riiiiiight… I’ll be right back…”
_________________________________
Now we fast forward to after the 911 call and the police are waiting for Stewart to come back. We’ll start back up where Stewart arrives:
Police Officer: “Mr. Stewart? Are these your children?”
Stewart: “Uh, no… never seen them before in my life.”
7 year old and 6 year old: “DADDY! The police man liked the protection you gave us so much he wanted to keep them. I told him his pig-ass had to ask you first.”
Stewart:
Police Officer: “Mr. Stewart… place your hands on your head…”
My wife forwarded me this email “speech” from the CEO of her company. This guy has been on all of his employees to vote. ”Voting is more important then work. Get your votes out no matter what it takes, I will provide you the time to vote.” Very cool.
If all of life is theatre, we saw the best show on Broadway last night. No matter how you voted, I hope you can stand back today and see and even marvel at the amazing thing that has happened.
An African-American was elected as the next President of the United States. We have said to the world that anything is possible in America. Mr. Obama’s victory makes it even more likely that it could be a woman, or a Jew or a Muslim, or a gay American. As long as it’s the most capable human being for the time, why not? Given the rich fabric of our nation’s melting pot, if we can’t call on the brightest and the best, we’re not leveraging our unique greatness.
When I was born it was radical to consider the election of a Roman Catholic. My grandmother talked about colored people. When I was in high school women didn’t have executive positions at big corporations. My three daughters simply can’t imagine the world was this way. Bias hasn’t ended in America, but it’s on the retreat.
No matter your views of Jesse Jackson, he was on the porch with Martin Luther King, Jr. when he was shot and his tears last night moved me.
As Donna Brazile, as tough a lady as there is in politics, broke while talking about Mr. Obama giving his inaugural address from the Capitol steps that slaves built, my mouth hung open.
If you have any doubts about what a good and decent man John McCain is, and if you want to know how to handle defeat graciously, please listen to his concession speech.
And Mr. Obama’s acceptance speech made me proud to be an American, even though he wasn’t my original choice for President. We haven’t had such an orator since President Reagan and before that President Kennedy, and I think a little oratory is good for the soul.
Today, excited by a sense of optimism and newness, I hope we can work across the aisles to solve our country’s and planet’s troubling issues. Acute partisanship has led us to the brink of disaster. Our absence from the world stage has left a vacuum. The world needs America front and center.
Today I will pray for Mr. Obama, for wisdom, for courage, for strength, for stamina, and for his safety. Please join me.
Now get back to work.
The results are in. Barack Obama has now been elected President of the United States.
Obama wasn’t my choice, but the people have spoken. I will pray that Obama brings the positive change that he promises and that he can fix the woes our country is currently experiencing.
President Obama, I hope you can rise above the challenges of inexperience and prove my concerns wrong. As the new leader of our country, I wish you the best.
Here’s a link to Chicago Tribune’s “Which States to Watch and When”: http://www.chicagotribune.com/media/graphic/2008-11/43186087.jpg
Guys like me get pretty annoyed at all the slanderous ads out there for politics. You know that only a small portion of them are true. We all know that there is no such thing as a squeaky clean, truth telling politician. At least not in this country.
All I really want is the facts. That’s why I was very happy to find this article on Q13 Fox News. It debunks the myths and lies from both sides of the political fence.
