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THE END IS NIGH… or, not

November 13, 2009 rooster Leave a comment

You’ve all heard it.  The end of the world is coming on December 21st, 2012.  The Mayan Calendar ends, the planets align, the Earth will flip it’s axis, Nibiru is going to crash into Earth, a solar storm so strong it’s going to burn us all alive, and the plus side of it all, no more mortgage.

Of course, this is all true if you believe non-factual, no-evidence, apocalyptic theories.  Here’s an article debunking these theories straight from NASA:

The Galileo spacecraft's view of the Moon and Earth On December 16, 1992, 8 days after its encounter with Earth, the Galileo spacecraft looked back from a distance of about 6.2 million kilometers (3.9 million miles) to capture this remarkable view of the Moon in orbit about Earth. Image credit: NASA/JPL There apparently is a great deal of interest in celestial bodies, and their locations and trajectories at the end of the calendar year 2012. Now, I for one love a good book or movie as much as the next guy. But the stuff flying around through cyberspace, TV and the movies is not based on science. There is even a fake NASA news release out there… So here is the scientific reality on the celestial happenings in the year 2012.

Nibiru, a purported large object headed toward Earth, simply put – does not exist. There is no credible evidence – telescopic or otherwise – for this object’s existence. There is also no evidence of any kind for its gravitational affects upon bodies in our solar system.

I do however like the name Nibiru. If I ever get a pet goldflish (and I just may do that sometime in early 2013), Nibiru will be at the top of my list.

The Mayan calendar does not end in December 2012. Just as the calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31, the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012. This date is the end of the Mayan long-count period, but then – just as your calendar begins again on January 1 – another long-count period begins for the Mayan calendar.

There are no credible predictions for worrisome astronomical events in 2012. The activity of the sun is cyclical with a period of roughly 11 years and the time of the next solar maximum is predicted to occur in the period 2010 – 2012. However, the Earth routinely experiences these periods of increased solar activity – for eons – without worrisome effects. The Earth’s magnetic field, which deflects charged particles from the sun, does reverse polarity on time scales of about 400,000 years but there is no evidence that a reversal, which takes thousands of years to occur, will begin in 2012. Even if this several thousand year-long magnetic field reversal were to begin, that would not affect the Earth’s rotation nor would it affect the direction of the Earth’s rotation axis… only Superman can do that.

The only important gravitational tugs experienced by the Earth are due to the moon and sun. There are no planetary alignments in the next few decades, Earth will not cross the galactic plane in 2012, and even if these alignments were to occur, their effects on the Earth would be negligible. Each December the Earth and Sun align with the approximate center of the Milky Way Galaxy but that is an annual event of no consequence.

The predictions of doomsday or dramatic changes on December 21, 2012 are all false. Incorrect doomsday predictions have taken place several times in each of the past several centuries. Readers should bear in mind what Carl Sagan noted several years ago; “extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”

For any claims of disaster or dramatic changes in 2012, the burden of proof is on the people making these claims. Where is the science? Where is the evidence? There is none, and all the passionate, persistent and profitable assertions, whether they are made in books, movies, documentaries or over the Internet, cannot change that simple fact. There is no credible evidence for any of the assertions made in support of unusual events taking place in December 2012.

For more information on the silliness surrounding December 2012, see:

Written by Don Yeomans, NASA senior research scientist
So, there you have it.  It’s all garbage.  Go see the movie if you will, but know that it’s “for entertainment purposes only” and if you take it for prophecy, you’re a fool.

Talk Nerdy to Me

February 11, 2009 rooster 1 comment

OK, bare with me here.  I’m going to talk nerdy for a minute.

I know a lot of people have shared woes about Windows Vista, including me.  Overall I like it, but man, there are some major resource hog issues.  Here are the programs I use on a constant basis:

  • SQL Server Management Studio
  • Adobe Photoshop CS3
  • Microsoft Outlook, Word, and Excel
  • Microsoft Virtual PC 2007

At least 3 out of those 6 programs require massive CPU usage and make things very slow, if not impossible to run together at any given time.  If your not technical, here is how the issue can be explained best:

Sure, the car is able to perform well, but as with anything, if you overtax it with, oh let’s say the equivalent to a 25 foot tall 25000 lb man, that shit is going to bump and scrape and never get any where.

Well, today I discovered a nice solution.  Microsoft doesn’t seem to readily advertise this feature.  Most likely because it would be a blatant admission to the fact that they built a giant piece of crap operating system.  This feature is called “Ready Boost”.

Ready Boost uses up to 4 gigabytes from your flash drive and adds it as memory to your computer when activated.  Just plug it in and things start to run much, much smoother.

So again, taking the nerdy talk to something every one can understand: What this is doing is taking this:

…and turning it into this:

s5

OK, I’m done talking nerdy.

Stupid iTunes

January 15, 2009 rooster 1 comment

I’ve been a major fan of the iPod, iPhone, and iTunes until last night.  For some unknown reason, I pulled up iTunes last night and I got an error message “You’re iTunes library has been corrupted. The file has been rescued and saved to your iTunes folder”.

As I look at iTunes and realize my iTunes library was cut from over 150 gigabytes of music to a little over 55 GBs.  I cringe.

Then I look at my playlists, of which I have spent probably days worth of time setting up folders and lists just to my likinig.  All gone.  I cringe harder.

Then, thinking that the “rescued file” might just fix everything back to my personal settings like I’ve done when transferring all my music from computer to computer, I locate the .itl file and import it.

Nothing.

I cringe so hard I nearly fall out of my chair.

I look up help articles and forums on just this subject just to find that “Oh ya, iTunes for Windows  in Vista sometimes just gets corrupted.”

Stupid iTunes, stupid Windows Vista.  Can’t we all just get along?

Well, I guess it could be worse… it could be a Zune that gets bricked by the Y2K9 bug (yes, 2009 bug).  (Wilbur, sorry to use you as a public example!).

Anyway, if this corrupted .itl file ever happens to anyone, I found a program that will reimport all your music, settings, playlists, play counts, ratings, the whole sha-bang.  Download it from http://www.ipod-computer.com/.  P.S. It also works great for when you want to download anything from a friends iPod!

Categories: advice, rant, technology

Jerk!

December 13, 2008 rooster 2 comments

I found this article on MSNBC today… kinda funny, but holds true.  I’m the bluetooth jerk, but have narrowly avoided the other items.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28039226/

Categories: advice, food for thought

For all you poll junkies out there…

November 4, 2008 rooster Leave a comment

Here’s a link to Chicago Tribune’s “Which States to Watch and When”: http://www.chicagotribune.com/media/graphic/2008-11/43186087.jpg

Categories: advice, food for thought

That’s it…

August 19, 2008 rooster 2 comments

I know, I know… it’s been a while since I posted.  This one won’t be very interesting.  At least for those not interested in politics.

Today is August 19th, 2008.  Today we vote on our Primaries.  Today is the first time we vote on something that matters and not be constrained by party lines.

Those of you that know me are probably thinking “What?  The Rooster is opposing party lines?!  I thought he was a die-hard Republican?!?!”

Well, guess what?  I’m tired of party lines.  Our governmental parties are so lost from their roots that “Republican” and “Democrat” really don’t have much of a meaning anymore.  Especially since there are so many variations to each party that it is nearly impossible for one to determine which one they are anymore.

Yup, that’s right.  I’m here to say that my beliefs have evolved to say “F*** THE PARTIES!”

When I drop my vote today, it will be for what I think is right.  Who will do the best job.  Who will save us from our woes.  If not save us, at least voting for who I think will send us on the uphill battle to pull our state, our country, out of the sh*thole that we have gotten ourselves into.

I am NOT a Republican.  I am NOT a Democrat.  I’m not saying I don’t believe and support aspects of either party, I’m just saying that I’m not a full-blooded supporter of either one (extremist, if you will).

Republicans have lost their way.  They are being led by a half-retarded, coke head, alcoholic that is less intelligent than a monkey smoking weed after a take-a-little-extra-off-the-top lobotomy.  Not only that, but we have so-called representatives of the right-wing that are so hypocritical that if they passed all the laws they push through Congress, they would end up with a life-term prison sentence themselves.

Democrats, for the most part, can’t make  a decision for the life of them.  Most of them flip-flop so often that their proposals sit on the table for months, even years, drying up the money and resources of the people of this nation – only to be thrown out resulting in nothing being done except having our money stolen from us.  No less important is how Democrats approach topics such as global warming.  OMFG, don’t even get me started on this one… I’ll save that for another post.

Anyway, the short of my story here is now that we aren’t required to declare our siding party, we have the opportunity to fight for what is right, who will do the best for the people of this nation, and how we ultimately handle foreign relations.

For all your readers out there, do us all a favor.  Get out there and vote for the reasons I mentioned above.  F*ck the parties, vote for what is right and who will grow us a unified nation and get us out of our recession (that’s right Republicans, we are in a recession whether you want to admit you drove us there are not), and actually help our foreign relations instead of starting wars across the globe.

It’s up to you.

Some laws actually have good reason

July 25, 2008 rooster 4 comments

Four words:  Secure your motherf***ing load!!!

We have a law to secure loads for good reason.  If you don’t secure your mothf***ing load, your sh*t will fly out and cause damage, injury, or death.  All because you are too f***ing lazy to tie your sh*t down.

This morning I was on my way to work when a white bucket flew out of someone’s truck a couple cars ahead of me.  It looked like it was rolling over to the side and out of my way, but a semi drove by and the wind knocked it straight in front of my car and i hit at about 40 mph…  I hit it twice, first time it bounced back in front of me and then came back for round two.  It was a 5 gallon bucket versus a 3300 pound car… guess who won?

At least I won this battle.  I’m sure there was an accident shortly after as I looked in my rear view mirror and saw cars swerving to miss it.  So, I called the department of transportation to advise of a “cleanup” need.

Luckily, my fate wasn’t like either of the links I provided above, but I did get some scuffs.  They look like they’ll buff out, so this still ended well at least.  Just frustrating as hell.

I’ll say it again… secure your motherf***ing load!!!!

Read your paperwork…

July 8, 2008 rooster 3 comments

A new colleague at work, who we call “FNG” until his 1-month mark, just told me this story about his buddy, who I will call “Sucka”, who just got a new job.  I wasn’t there, so the following is abridged but the numbers and general events are correct.

In the interview, the Employer asks what Sucka’s salary requirements are.  Suck replies with “24″.

Sucka gets an offer letter shortly after.  He skips to the signature line, signs it, and sends it back. 

Let’s fast forward to first paycheck.  Sucka opens up his paycheck to find it was about half of what he was expecting. 

Sucka goes to Employer with a kind “WTF is this shiznit?” inquiry.

Sucka finds out there was a miscommunication in the interview.

When he said “24″ in response to the salary requirement question, Sucka meant “$24 per HOUR”.

The Employer heard “$24,000 per year”, because well, let’s face it, he asked what the SALARY requirements are, not the HOURLY RATE.

Next time, read your paperwork… Sucka!

Categories: advice, jackassery

Stupid dog

June 18, 2008 rooster 6 comments

That stupid dog of mine did it again. Two months ago, Parker (the dog) decided to eat a cat toy and got it stuck in his intestines. Long story short, he was going to die if we didn’t go into immediate surgery. After 3 days of non-stop puking all over the house and my car, surgery happened, and $2000 later we had a slimy cat toy and a tennis ball that had been in his stomach for several months.

So, dumbass dog stopped eating 2 nights ago. Last night he started throwing up, and then kept throwing up all night long. Super.

I called the vet this morning and made an appointment. I went in around 9:00 AM and by 9:30 AM I got the news. X-rays showed there was something stuck in his intestines. It appeared to be cloth like and was visually apparent that it was causing major disruption through his body…. Which explains the gas lately? Yes, I think it does.

Here is my advice to all you people that are thinking about getting a dog: Don’t get a Labrador. They are loveable and cute and are faithful to you for life… but they are stupid as hell. My dog eats socks, cat toys, and tennis balls. My buddy’s chocolate lab ate pop cans – sometimes with the soda still in it. My dad’s yellow lab eats rocks. Knowing this, don’t get a freaking Labrador. It’s not worth it. Stop yourself before you get attached to one.

Update: I just got a call from the vet.  Turns out they found a chunk of bone and my step-daughter’s underwear.  Great.  Just great.

Nueve de Mayo?

May 9, 2008 rooster Leave a comment

OK, so it’s May 9th now, but I’m going to talk about Cinco de Mayo. 

Cinco de Mayo, even though technically it’s not an independence holiday, it really is.  The history is here.

So, independence holiday… pretty much any independent country has a holiday representing such an awesome anniversary.  Meaning, they get the day off and party like rockstars. 

So why is it that on Cinco de Mayo we all herd ourselves into overcrowded Mexican restaurants, forcing the servers, cooks, and bussers to work their hardest they do all year long?  Have you ever been to a Mexican restaurant on Cinco de Mayo where you haven’t seen this?

Take the 4th of July for example.  America’s Independence Day.  We shut down.  It’s like Christmas.  Everyone’s partying, but all major functions are closed for the day.  Yet, Cinco de Mayo – not  the case.

This just goes to show how lazy we Americans are compared to our friends down south. 

Not like it would ever fly, but I think that we need to give these guys a break.  Do like I do – go to a Chinese restaurant on Cinco de Mayo next year.  Let Mexicans have their day dammit!

- Brought to you by your Seattlite White Guy.

Categories: advice, food for thought, irony