Losin’ it

This is an actual email chain between me and coworkers today.  Read it from the bottom up.  Losin’ it?  You decide.

Wearing a watch?

Apparently there is a rule about which wrist you wear a watch on.  If you are left handed, you wear your watch on the right wrist.  If you a correct (right) handed, you wear your watch on the left wrist.

I may not smoke “recreational” substances anymore, but sometimes I still get stoner thoughts that go through my head.  Here’s proof:

Why does this watch rule apply?  Is it because if someone tries to use their left hand to put their watch on their right wrist when they are right handed, they find it to be A) physically impossible, B) they look like a freakin moron that can’t accomplish the simple task of putting a watch on, or C) both A and B?

What’s my point?  I don’t know.  Just a random thought.

White Pony

I’d like to tell you about a dream I had the other night.  I dreamt that I was doing a bunch of coke (mind you, I haven’t touched the stuff in probably 7 or 8 years).  It was odd, because in the dream I was thinking like a coke-head.  If you don’t know how a coke-head thinks, there is only one word to describe it:  irrational. 

Anyway, I dreamt that one day I went home and my fiancee confronted me about it.  She said “I know you’re riding the white pony.”

After hearing this, my irrational thought process was “How do I get out of this one?”  So, the scene skips (because dreams tend to do this) and next thing I know, I bought a white horse and rode it home. 

When I got home, my fiancee was outside, so I rode my horse up to her and then I said:

“Yup, you caught me.  I’m riding the white pony.”

It was quite awkward.

That was fun. Let’s try something else.

Alright, so I’m trying out WordPress.  After Blogger completely blew my style sheet for no reason I decided to try something else.  Link is setting up Enemesis on WordPress as well, and since I’m a lazy bastard and don’t have to go to two different sites just to post shit, we’ll see how this one works. 

So far, I like it… except that I have to pay $15 a year to customize the CSS.  I guess that’s what pays for all the cool shit you can put on these pages.  Another lame part is that you can import all your posts and your tags/categories, but it doesn’t keep all the categories on each post…. what the hell.

The Hunt is Over… Pt 2

I just re-read my post on “Useless Info, Volume 1” and realized I have had way too much time on my hands. I’m so glad I start work again on Monday…

The Hunt is Over

After 5 weeks of job searching, video game playing, book reading boredom, I finally got an offer at Microsoft.

So, I’ve gone from Cingular to Microsoft to Cingular and now back to Microsoft. Full circle, twice.

Whatever, the money is good. I think I’ll take it.

Dear Santa…

Were you ever a child that sent a letter to Santa at Christmas time, putting in your list of what you want for the most anticipated holiday of the year? I know I was. I never got a reply to my letters sent to Santa, but as my belief in him was dying out, I found myself asking, “where do my letters go?” I never found the answer to that question, but after reading this news story, I learned that several years later, the North Pole had answered that question.

Long story short (mainly because you can read the long story by clicking the link above) is that there is a town deep in Alaska that is named “North Pole”. This town is full of roads called “Santa Claus Lane” and “Kris Kringle Drive”. The United States Post Office teamed up with this little town.

Now, anytime a letter is sent to Santa, with or without postage, the letter is sent to North Pole, Alaska. In the North Pole, there is a large group of people which opens the letters that have a return address on them. They send replies to those kids ackowledging the letter was received and lets the kids hear what they want to hear so that the magic of Christmas can continue. This volunteer group signs these letters as Santa’s elves.

There are some kids that would include questions such as “how many cookies can you eat in a night” or “am I on the nice or naughty list”.

I’m going to send one that says “You fat bastard, I saw you trying to hump my mom. You better watch your back.” I wonder what kind of reply I’d get for that one? I’ll add an update if I get one.

Does Staples Have a "Pain-in-the-Ass" Button?!

Time to let out a little frustration. At work, I’ve been running this report in this archaic web based system not by choice, but by requirement because it’s all I have available. This system will only bring back 500 results at a time and does not allow an export to a spreadsheet for all results, only the 500 per page. It takes 3 minutes to “get the next 500 results”.

I was on the 23rd page. Then, in the blink of an eye, my internet explorer and 3 other programs just shut down for the hell of it. No warnings, no slow downs, no errors, just shut down. Now I have to start all over.

Meanwhile, I have a Staple’s “Easy Button” sitting in front of me, mocking me as if it was the reason my programs shut down and I have to do a bunch of re-work.

I think I’m going to create a “Pain-in-the-Ass” button, so that when you press it, it says “That was a pain in the ass!”