Aisle Seat

Thanks for this, lbttrcup… funny!

Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat…

Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, ‘I need to get up and get a coke.’ ‘Don’t get up’said the Marine, ‘I’m in the aisle seat, I’ll get it for you’.

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, ‘That looks good, I’d really like one too’. Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other
shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately that had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors… ‘Why does it have to be this way’?

‘How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?’

* THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES. THE BEST!*

Why dogs are better than humans

I’ve heard a lot of stories in the past few years where people, seeing other people in dangerous situations – whether it be a medical issue, being attacked, whatever – and the witness turns a blind eye to it by either walking the other way, staring dumbly, or closing their curtains just to ignore what’s going on.

Not this guy.  Uh… Dog.

Buddy the German Shephard is a modern day Lassie.  Except it’s not an ugly pipe-nosed dog.

Buddy is a trained service dog that can recognize when his best friend has a seizure.

Buddy knocked the phone off the receiver and ACTUALLY DIALED 911.

The 911 operator, only hearing the dark barking and no human response, sent help to find the man needing medical attention.

Good dog.

Source: http://www.currentargus.com/ci_10465131

Pizza anyone? Anyone?

All I have to say is “Thank God for Fark.com“. Most of the news that we are fed are politically biased or nothing more than ratings boosts where the media picks and chooses their stories based on what gets them more revenue. If you don’t already know, Fark resolves this by having people from all over world submit news that people actually care about, or at least find entertaining. This is one of those stories.

This story is about a lonely, hungry prostitute by the name of Brunelle. She was arrested for domestic violence after fighting with her mom who had attempted to stop Brunelle from selling her beef curtains. Brunelle was whoring off because Jason Lee, her former friend, bailed her out of jail and forced her to become a fighting lobster claw to pay him back for the bail money.

So, due to the domestic violence situation, Brunelle was arrested again. When Brunelle went to court and explained the situation – that she was forced to commit domestic violence so she could get back out on the street and let people buy a ride on the camel toe, thus paying her pimp back to buy her freedom.

The judge, seeing an opportunity here, offered to let her go based on a deal:

The court gives you a pizza and you give us the identity of your pimp.

Deal or no deal?

DEAL!

The court got their pimp and the whore got her $5 pizza.

Judge Nadine Allison, you are a hero. Finally, a branch of government that has wisely used the taxpayer’s money.